I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
