Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
