She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
