so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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