Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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