Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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