You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
