Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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