he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
