he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Ladies don't puke and tell
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
