I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
