can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
