how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
