they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
