yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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