The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
