Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
