there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
