And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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