And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
