I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
