i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
this is an emotional support booty call
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
