it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize