i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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