Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
