omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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