Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
did i walk over a car last night?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
