So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
They took my balls.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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