also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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