He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize