So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
