My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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