I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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