In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
