We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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