I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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