the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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