You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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