Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
