I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
