Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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