its not stalking. its research.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
