Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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