I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
