ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
