I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
