Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
