office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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