can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
