I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize