So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
