I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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