Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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