i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
