you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
