so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
