you guys were way drunker than both of me
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
