Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
