Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
