I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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