dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So much Jack, so little girl.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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