I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
