the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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