I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
