Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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