Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
