He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize