its not stalking. its research.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
