Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
