If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
