If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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