just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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